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Kindtoyourmind|Casual Contributor|Last message 18 minutes ago
Unsure (aren't we all!?)

Hey!So I'm new here, and I was hoping for some advice or guidance or to vent - not really sure! I have ASD, ADHD, PMDD (seems like an ever-growing list here), all late diagnosed at around 30/31 as a now 33yo female (A likely story, I'm sure!). First things first - skill regression / more difficulty masking, whichever way you would prefer to see it. How does everyone cope with this? I find it increasingly difficult as someone who society would deem as "high functioning", otherwise known as "low support needs". I feel like the older I get, the more I get to know myself, the less capable I feel. Which is more of a struggle to friends and family as well, because they all know the incredibly high masked version of me - slowly becoming more increased with my needs, I almost feel guilty that I feel like I need more support? Like it isn't believed because it wasn't there before? Which then makes me feel guilty for trying to get accommodations and I feel like I'm in a weird in between of not being able to mask as well - but feeling the need to more so because of how I think I'm being perceived...if that makes sense? On the flip side, I know this is my perception, but it also makes me feel like imposter syndrome like "am I making this up?". I also feel like work is getting harder and harder. I work full time in a helper-based role which is also high pressure to an extent (justice and risk-based case management). I love the work, have done this in various capacities for just over a decade, but now getting through a full work week is exhausting! If I'm working from home - I struggle to motivate myself, but going into the office five days a week seems impossible. I also don't know what I would do if it wasn't this and as we all know with the cost of living - I can't quit and worry about that later either. But contrary to my usual self - work self LOVES people and helping.  I'm at the very beginning of possibly applying to NDIS for support - but I just don't know. I don't know what support I need or would be able to apply for? I'm physically capable, I have a solid work history, I am privileged in the sense of being self-capable - and feel guilty for considering supports. But in the same thought, I barely have the energy to do anything outside of work. Chores, shopping, hobbies, things that bring me joy - all come second to pure exhaustion. Like I'm not capable of making a decision or following through with one to help myself. Cooking, exercise - forget about it, zero energy.  This feels a lot like a rant, and I am sorry if it comes across as one! I think I'm seeking guidance in any domain related to employment, hobbies, burn out, community supports etc. I feel like I've done my time with psychologists for now, and I don't want to always be focused on "fixing" myself. I want to focus more on working with myself rather than against. It's like I feel like I need a person who is with me that helps me get stuff done that isn't my partner!  Any who - sorry for the rant! Any advice or recommendations would be amazing, because I don't know how much longer I can keep feeling utterly exhausted and lost! (To clarify, I am completely safe, and in no way a concern for myself at current - please be safe x) 

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Doldip15|Senior Contributor|Last message about 2 hours ago
Feeling alone

I haven’t been on here for a while as too overwhelming alone! Find it hard to express the reality of finding you’ve moved to a new city on the promise of your daughter helping only to find she stand and verbally abuses you for 1/2 hour straight! Her husband wants your home but will put a boxable on the property he purchases with the proceeds of your sale! Your sons family think your a strange old lady who can’t stand upright or walk without help so they have nothing to do with you and I was stupid enough to loan my car to my youngest daughter to move her possessions into storage because of DV only to never get it back, subsequently stolen, vandalised and written off! Is there anything worth looking forward to? The sun doesn’t even shine! Have progressive Lupus now and spend time wondering what time I have left anyway? No medical doctor has bothered explaining what this means in terms of what is happening to my body, mind, anything? Dr Google a little scary! Isolated at home as poor as the proverbial church mouse! Asking charities for help- you could say useless but I would say humiliating when the volunteer who brings a food voucher tells you your 5 years younger than she is, hold a garage sale and sell some of your possessions, and don’t ring us again for 3 months! Lifeline generously provided a food parcel which does not take  into account a special diet for someone who’s had 6 abdominal surgeries and is on a low fiber diet - against gov food regulations, so can eat 2 things in food hamper and my daughter took remainder! I simply fail to get help! No one helps with medication and the cost of mine has gone up to $250 a month! I feel like I’m drowning in poverty and isolation! Gave Grandson a home because he was homeless and know he was unmedicated and diagnosed Bipolar, did not take into account the fact that his girlfriend happily triggers his ASD meltdowns and psychosis at times causing unbelievable violent behaviour that made it necessary for me to call police to stop him harming her more than once! [edited by moderator] My home has been invaded by multiple police! I’m due in court again tomorrow! I am at a loss to know how to cope I’m so tired! At least I’ll get a free cup of tea! Any compensation? I doubt it? and I won’t even touch on the injustice and unfairness of homeless services! I’ve been trying to keep my daughter and family off streets and have basically lost all my money supporting them when support services dropped out! Main reason seemingly - she looks like a drug addict! Why - she has severe ADHD and a medical condition that causes muscle spasm, twitching, loss of muscle control, not to mention severe pain but of course why look beyond the obvious? You look like an addict, therefore you are an addict so we won’t deal with you. I can’t help financially any more so living on the street a very real risk? I’ll stop because I am making myself feel worse! I’ll find something creative to do before I fall asleep on the table top! cheers to all

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Gma11|New Contributor|Last message about 2 hours ago
Huge weight gain from meds

Howdy, I am brand new to the SANE forums. I thought I would jump in, because I am super interested in reading about other people's experiences.  I hit the wall with my mental health when I turned 50, 11 years ago. I had horrendous hot flushes that woke me every 90 minutes or so. I had so many worries I would struggle to get back to sleep only to wake up in 90 min. This sleep deprivation went on for the 3 years prior to my 50th, a form of torture to send one insane! My ex husband, who I was with at the time, had just lost his job due to bullying which caused him to have suicide ideation and severe depression. I had 2 teenagers at home and we were at the point of loosing the house. I had the CAT team on daily visits for my ex and I had to apply for hardship clauses on all our bills. It was a hellish time and I was stretched so thin I was transparent.  Then I ended up in a mental hospital after l had a severe manic episode and was labled as bi polar, bought on by menopause and sleep deprivation! The Psychiatrist tried several drugs and I had a severe reaction of hallucinations on one. I was released on mood stabilising medication in the end and sent into community care. [edited by moderator] When I saw the Psychiatrist he asked how I was going on the mood stabilising medication, I told him I was putting on an awful lot of weight. [edited by moderator] He said "good that means I know you are compliant". Fantastic. I was [edited by moderator] I'm pretty tall and I was very fit. My weight went up in 5 months. [edited by moderator] He changed my meds and I stayed on that for years, which increased my weight! [edited by moderator] I have been on so many different meds since, and 2 injections I can't remember the names of. [edited by moderator] I have twice got down but bounced back up to that weight. [edited by moderator]   It is so disgustingly depressing. I am so hungry all the time and have claws into my brain craving for sugar and carbs. Every time the Psychiatrist has reduced the meds as low as possible I have lost weight but I end up manic.   It's the low self esteem, the shame that stops me from meeting new people or seeing old friends. The health risks of heart disease, cancer and diabetes. The inability to walk up stairs without puffing. The fatigue, the stress on my joints and feet. These factors do depress me.   I have decided to some how some way drop some weight, I don't know how, so I'm putting it out there...   What do you do?  Has anyone else had a similar experience? Did anyone manage to drop the ks? Are there natural mental health remedies  that do not have the side effects? I feel very vulnerable sharing this because I don't talk to anyone about this, I am going to be brave and hit post  

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The-red-centaur|Senior Contributor|Last message about 1 hour ago
I'm unsure of my options, venting.

I've been feeling down, overwhelmed, stressed, and I've been getting some dark thoughts I have not had for a while.  I'm unsure how to proceed. All my options have pros and cons and I'm just voicing my thoughts in hopes to figure that out so here it goes....  Option 1. Reaching out to my local health team. Pros: they are technically my clinical support team. Neg: I have been having having issues with the support provided by them, it's been a long time since I reached out to them, I don't have a current care coordinator and they in the process of finding a new one.  Option 2. Pushing the feelings and thoughts away, just dealing with it and moving on. Pros: pretending things are fine and focussing on distractions and practice things i need to address draws rhe attention away from the thoughts and gives space for the things stressing me out. Neg: there is only so much I can keep through before snapping.  Option 3. Sitting with it. Pros: allowing myself to feel what is going on, and process the things happening and impacting my mood. Neg: if I do nothing I feel like I'll be completely overcome by it, not dealing with my stressors will make me more stressed, im scared sitting with these thoughts and feelings will make me act impulsively and not in my best interest.  Option 4. Act on the thoughts and give in to the depression. Wallow and sink. Pros: the easiest of it all (thanks to past behaviours) Neg: I don't want to go backwards. Pros: I'm just tired, I don't want to fight this shit for ever. Neg: acting will just reinforce the shit and make it worse.  Weighing up it all just leads me more unsure. I'm tired of mh issues running my life. I don't know which way to turn. My ndis supports aren't much help rn. I have things I need to be doing. But I'm just tired. I can't do it anymore. 

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