@Till23 

Yes, seeing the parents with kids is the hardest by far for me.

I always played team sports.  Even when i played 8-ball comps, it was in a team.  I think, as competitive as i am, it was the being around people that i liked the most.  I felt like i was apart of something.  If we won, there were people to celebrate with, if we lost, there were people to drink beer with.

I would definitely not go for a meal by myself.  Even a theatre I would find too awkward.  It's a bit strange for someone who spends so much time alone, to feel so awkward doing things alone.  But I guess its just the being alone in front of other people, convinced they're all looking at you and judging you.  You know that most likely no of them even notice you, but that doesn't make it any easier.

I does make a lot of sense that doing a lot of these thing on weekday would be easier.  Even if I was eating alone in a place and there were plenty of others eating alone, possible on lunch breaks from work, I think I would still feel like 'they know'.  It's not rational in any way, but it would just feel like I know, so the must know as well.  Even writing this makes me think just how messed up the mind must get to think like that.  I see it, and i have a much better understanding now of why, but it's still there.  I don't know, maybe it brings back subconscious memories of sitting alone at school.  It's just still really hard to get past.

I remember a few years ago, I was getting close to my 50th birthday.  My partner and I were at a local pub having dinner.  There was a long table with about 30 people and a big balloon with 60 on it.  I assumed it was someones 60th birthday... i'm very observant like that 🤔😁  I just remember the whole time struggling to look away.  I just could stop thinking about that is what a big birthday is supposed to be like, surrounded by family and friends. Its just over 4 years later and i still think of that a lot.  So it's not just these sights of other people together triggers feeling or memories, they can stay with you for a long time if they were painful enough.