Once Upon a Long Ago (possible trigger warning?)

[Dreamy]

@MissinTooth i can't read too much of your post right now but I've read through briefly. You are so brave for sharing and you should be proud of yourself for that. You deserve to be able to get support got everything you have been through. 

Please know that you are not alone and we are here for you ❤️. 

[Shaz51]

Sitting with you my friend @MissinTooth  and sending you lots of hugs 🫂 

[MissinTooth]

@Shaz51 @Dreamy @rav3n  thank you. It's a long post, and a lot to read, so thank you for taking the time to read and then to reply.

@Till23 I know. I feel like this is something that needs to be done now. I started the process bu was told by the reception of a GP that I would need this and that and my medical records just to become a new patient...at the time I didn't even have an address and was living with my parents. So, it was put on the back burner. Thank you for the advice. 

It brings up all kinds of feels when they ask you about your support network and you realise that you actually don't have one. My answer..."I have one friend." Then they ask you about your GP and again...you have to admit that you don't have one. 

[Till23]

@MissinTooth I know in some places it's almost impossible to get in to a GP because their books are all closed. But, when you can it's a good idea in my humble opinion.

Yes only today when I was telling my psych I was going to have to put my dog down, she said can someone go with you. I said who? People don't realise how difficult it is when you don't have any or many close friends.

[rav3n]

@MissinTooth i second @Till23 in terms of looking into getting a GP for yourself. i can hear that it can be an uncomfortable process, i remember how awkward and anxious i felt when i got a new GP and had to do my mental health care plan with her. but i absolutely think it was worth it in the long run. got my fingers crossed that the process goes smoothly next time around 💙

[MissinTooth]

@Till23 the GP thing is a work in progress...

Yeah, it's hard and it plays on your mind. I've not been able to move passed it today. It's been on my mind. I don't have a support network...and that's been playing around and around in my head. 

It's one of those things that disappears into the background until you think about it - about who you could turn to for support and you realise that the answer is noone.

@rav3n I am chronic Dr avoider. I only go if something is really wrong with me and I'm more afraid of what's going on, than I am of the Dr. I hate the sitting and the waiting...my anxiety ramps up and makes it incredibly hard to sit still. I hate the judgement that I feel when I'm at the Dr's and I hate that I've had experiences where I've not felt heard but talked at. I don't cope with having to be vulnerable or having to be put in vulnerable positions. I don't like being touched or the attention being on me...

It's tricky!

[Till23]

Good on you @MissinTooth for trying to find a GP

Yes, when I've had my surgeries, you have to put someone down to contact to pick you up, you can't leave until this person picks you up. I felt so terrible asking someone to do that for me and I used a different person each time, because I felt I didn't really know anyone well enough to do that.

[rav3n]

absolutely hear you @MissinTooth i used to hate going to the GP, mainly cos my GP had invalidated my mental health in the past and for some reason every clinic just looks gloomy!? hated sitting and waiting too, feels like all eyes are on me. but i ended up changing GPs and i was really lucky to get someone who truly understood mental health, i didn't have to 'explain' myself for what i was feeling. i hope a good GP finds you!!

totally understand its not easy, tiny steps like even considering it counts. whatever pace works for you!!

[MissinTooth]

@Till23 you kind of come face to face with how isolated and alone you are.

@rav3n thank you for sharing your experiences. I'm glad you found a GP that helped you to feel validated and comfortable. It makes it seem like a possibility for me too. I acknowledge that it's something that I need to do for me, and sometimes that I can take steps towards getting my physical and mental health sorted and I am willing to look into it and do some research. It's a start.