So much going on and I’m struggling to keep going

[Busymama]

Hi all,

I don’t know where to start and this may turn into a ramble, so I apologise in advance.

I’ve got so much on my plate right now and am trying to function, but I’m really struggling with it all and just need to talk to someone.

My biggest issue right now is that my 19yo son is in police custody, and I don’t know where to go for support with how I’m dealing with it all, and how best to support him. He has a legal team, so that’s being taken care of, but I don’t know how to cope with what is going on, what’s going to happen, and how to best advocate for him and what he needs. I believe he has undiagnosed ADHD with ODD, which affects his decision making and I believe plays a large part in his behaviour that lead him where he is now.

I also have other children, under 18, who need my support, but I don’t know how to do that when I’m struggling myself.

I’m wondering if there is a support group for parents in a similar situation. I’m wondering if there is anything I can make happen with regard to getting him a diagnosis. I’m wondering a lot of things. I’m a mess and I don’t know where or how to start getting through it.

Thanks for reading and I apologise if nothing makes sense.

[Ru-bee]

Hello @Busymama and welcome to the forums

I'm really glad that you've taken this step in reaching out, as I can hear how difficult this situation is for both you and your family. I really hope that this can be a safe, supportive place for you, and I'm also conscious that it could be helpful to get you linked in with some more supports to help you through this time. Has there been anyone who you've been able to lean on during this time, friends or family? In times like this it can be a bit like those safety instructions in a plane - secure your own oxygen mask first. As you've pointed out here, it can be really hard to help others when we are needing help ourselves. Have you considered reaching out to a counsellor or psychologist at all? Perhaps even family counselling could be something to consider as a way to receive support as a family unit.

In terms of getting your son diagnosed, the first step is often going to the GP to get a referral to a psychologist or psychiatrist who specialises in this area. Other members who have gone down this route of seeking a diagnosis for ADHD may be able to offer some insight on how the process was for them.

I wanted to share a few resources with you, while they are targeted more specifically for those who have entered the prison system, I'm hoping they hold some helpful information for you:

How we help | Vacro

Community Treatment and Transition Program | Forensicare

I hope this is a helpful start, and that you keep on reaching out and seeking support.

Ru-bee

[BlackRosemary50]

Hi I just recently went through medically diagnosed route for my autism. Firstly I did a self check test on embrace.com for autism/adhd a very recommended site through the autism adhd social community From that as it showed I have prevalent out come to autism I went to my gp discussed then onto a psychologist- psychiatrist for final diagnosis.

https://embrace-autism.com/asrs-v1-1/