AuDHD burnout, depression and anxiety

[Aqualemonade]

Hi all,

I'm a late diagnosed AuDHD woman with a very long history of depression and anxiety.

I had been pushing on for far too long. 100% Sole parent, multiple health issuse, one child needs lots of appointments, full time worker dealing with the passing of my Mum. Crashed into the inevitable heap almost 2 weeks ago. GP gave me 3 weeks off, so I'm trying to find supports, and learn more self care, so I can back to enjoying life again. Currently I work, collapse in a heap, sleep and repeat, time off is spent slothing.

This isn't the life I want for myself and my children. I will get there.

[Kiki5]

Hi there. I’m really sorry to read about your struggles.
I want to validate everything you’ve said and how you’re feeling.

I’m also late diagnosed and completely burned out too. We try so hard and I can see you care about your family and you’re trying your best.
Life is harder for us, with multiple diagnoses. For me, I also struggle because I feel no one understands me.

I came on to the forum after an awful day and yours was the first post I saw.
I want to tell you I understand you.

We also struggle with rest, and self care. We deserve it. But I think the world tells us we don’t. Many spaces are invalidating.

The reason I came today is because I had a really difficult conversation at work. My boss is very supportive, she recognises I’m struggling and I believe her that she cares for me, and it’s genuine. Even that’s hard for me to believe because the reason I’m so burned out is from our workplace. She wasn’t around when all the bullying happened. She recognises that. But it’s so hard because she values me, but the job isn’t what I signed on for and she can’t change it.
Also exposing myself has been a risk in the past. She knows that and even said it’s trauma.

I’m sorry that’s a long story.

I want to validate you; our paths im this world are harder. But here on the forums, there are lots like us.

We are so important in this world and loved, but the exhaustion is so difficult.

I want to send a virtual hug. I’m bad at taking my own advice, but I hope this is some comfort.

You seen here. You’re not alone. What you feel is valid. You deserve to have peace and to rest.

I hope you have the rest you need and deserve and the weekend is what you need. It’s ok to feel this way.

Finally, even though I know the same struggles, coming here and seeing your post helped me. I hope what I’ve written can help too.

Take care of you and your wonderful family. You’re doing better than you think.

[Kiki5]

I also wanted to offer my condolences for the loss of your Mum.

That’s terribly difficult and grief comes in waves, I’ve learned.

Well done for going to your GP and taking time. That’s your time and space, for whatever you need right now.

Take care of you
It’s ok to rest

[Aqualemonade]

Thank you @Kiki5 

I appreciate your response so much. We have to work so much harder, and put so much more energy into humaning than others. Not sure about you, but, I have so much internalised ableism punching me down telling me what I should be able to do. 

Sorry about the bullying, that's awful. I hear you on work issues. Mine doesn't involve bullying, but, we are so understaffed and it is such a negative environment. Wasn't like that when I started. I've given them my certificate, spoken to my manager, then I got a message from another message asking to call them. I haven't, because I am focusing on me, I don't want to speak to the people that are causing me stress.

We will get there!

[Happychick]

I also have adhd depression and anxiety and let me tell you every day is a struggle to stay alive when I feel like shit. I’m on medication but it can only do so much. The other day I tried to contact crisis services after suffering a crisis and not wanting to live any more only to be put on hold. [edited by moderators] Let me tell you when someone is in crisis they need to talk to someone urgently not be put on hold and made to answer bullshit questions so they can get their funding. I don’t give a shit about that when I reach out to talk to someone I need them to answer straight away not put me on hold I could be dead in the time they take to answer. And these forums are ok but nobody will do anything about it. I’ve struggled with all the above for about 40 years and no one helps me I’ve had to get better each time on my own which usually happens after a few days or a week, looking to make some friends who understand what it’s like, I can’t keep a job because I also have ptsd and work is traumatic for me but I bet everyone will just tell me to get a job I’ve tried but I can’t keep them I literally flight or flee all the time. I want to be well but it is so hard and no one understands what’s it’s like and to top it off I’m on dsp which someone doesn’t want me to get but I need it to survive as I can’t work because of the trauma and bi polar I have episodes of depression and anxiety fairly frequently which prevents that. I just want to get better and do the recovery program but sane wouldn’t let me so I’m posting here

[rav3n]

hey there @Happychick i'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through, i can't imagine how exhausting and frustrating it must be to reach out and not get the support you were looking for. despite this, i can see how much strength you have, and i'm really glad that you kept reaching out. i hear you & and i'm here for you.

about the guided recovery program, i'm just going to check with my team to see how we can assist you with this, and then get back to you. 

you matter to us.

[Happychick]

Thank you admin I think the program will be beneficial for me just need to be allowed to do it as my mental health is all over the place some days I’m good and can do things but most days is a struggle I’m trying but I need a program that helps me that’s why I chose the sane one please let me join

[rav3n]

so i've just checked - from July 1st 2025, the guided recovery program will be available to all postcodes @Happychick so please register from July 1st, and you'll definitely be eligible to join in!

in the mean time, please feel free to keep connecting on our forums and also, we've got SANE Support Lines available 12pm-6pm Mon-Fri where you can speak to a counsellor for free too. 

also p.s. just wanted to let you know that i edited your earlier post to remove the name of specific crisis lines - this is because it's against our community guidelines to make complaints about named services - we do this to encourage members to direct their feedbacks to the crisis lines themselves rather than the forums, so that changes can be made 😊

[Happychick]

Fair enough

[Happychick]

Sorry you’re going through that. It sounds like your work is not providing the support you need is there any one else you can reach out to, you shouldn’t have to put up with bullying at work. Your boss should help you if not it might be time for a new job where you are supported with your depression and anxiety and burnout