Some days are better than others

[bravingthewaves]

Hi all, I'm new here 🙂

Reaching out as I've always wondered if I have OCD. The symptoms come and go depending on lifestyle changes and stressors. I have a long history of anxiety and depression. What brought me here today is in the past week or so my thought patterns have been compulsive, around the idea that everyone hates me/has no respect for me.

Sometimes the thoughts are quite loud and probably excessive but have been impacting my work and personal life. Sometimes I find I take a day off work just to try and combat all the thoughts in my head.

I had been to a psychologist about 18 months ago about but they were very textbook and I was running out of excuses to leave work to attend the sessions so I stopped going. Hopefully I've come to the right place for support.

[Dreamy]

Hello @bravingthewaves and welcome to the forums. 

Well done for reaching out and sharing what's been going on for you, it takes alot of strength to do that. I'm sorry to hear about your thoughts and how they can be loud and excessive. Thinking that everyone hates you or don't respect you i think is quite common for alot of us here especially when having depression and anxiety. I'm hearing how it can impact your work having to take time off when those thoughts are really bad but it's also good that you do take that time for yourself. 

Have you ever tried to write things down to down to help get it out? Some people find it helpful in managing those thoughts. I'm sorry to hear that the psychologist wasn't really helpful and I can hear how it was hard to manage seeing them without it interrupting your work. 

Have you got any friends or family that you are able to talk to? 

Please know that you are not alone here and we will support you however we can. I'm always happy to chat if you'd like to. I hope you find the forums helpful, I've found it to be an amazing community of support 😊

[Ru-bee]

Hi and welcome to the forums @bravingthewaves 

It sounds like this is something that's been impacting your life for a little while now, and it can be especially hard when we're not quite sure what's going on for us. I bet you've probably already done a bit of research into OCD yourself, but if you're looking for some more info, SANE has a bunch of great resources here.

I know it's really frustrating to have a psychologist who isn't the right fit for you, but sometimes it is a case of needing to shop around a little before you find the one for you. I wonder if you've considered seeing one online? I never considered it previously and only every saw practitioners in person, but last year I switched to video sessions and I find it does work well for me and allows for much more flexibility so I can schedule it around my working hours.

[Sparky79]

 @bravingthewaves  Good on you for having the strength and courage to reach out!

Yes our intrusive, irrational thoughts can be extremely challenging, especially if they catch us at our weakest moments.

It sucks when our thoughts work against us, as we know all our flaws, all our own weaknesses, so our thoughts know exactly where the holes in our armor are.

You mentioned about combatting them, I'm wondering what your combat methods are?

I was going to mention what I do to combat my thoughts, but I think that would be better for your mental health professional to recommend as everyone is different.

You mentioned about having seen a psychologist 18 months ago. don't think you're locked in to seeing only one person or one type of treatment forever, if there's no improvement with one person or treatment after a certain amount of time then try another person or treatment.

Remember you're not alone with these struggles, many people are going through and have been through what you're going through, don't give up and don't be afraid to reach out.