I can’t cope

[Jynx]

@Captain24 yeah cept for the part where it ain't just up to you whether you deserve support or not! And to ignore a human being in pain - especially one with whom I have a connection - would go against every value I have. Please never forget, I consider my role, my time here with y'all, an absolute privilege. I get to be there for folks - like you, and many others who are struggling too - in a way that feels healing for the younger parts of me that had no one. I get that it can actually feel scary to let people care about you. But even (especially!) on those days it feels like you are 'taking up space' - it's always deserved 💜

OMG yay! What are you doing with time off? Or is this for a clinic stay? I forget, sorry!

[Captain24]

It’s hard to think of people wanting to support me that I’m not paying @Jynx. It’s hard to accept that someone would actually care. My psych has to support cause I pay her so much. It does feel genuine though. 

It was for the stay but it got cancelled so I’m just going to basically hang around here and get stuff done.

I do want to go to the blue mountains for a day trip with mum. I drive through there all the time but I haven’t actually been there since I was in primary school. It’s probably been just under 40 years. I also want to go down to see my psych for a face to face session and spend 2 nights and hopefully catch up with a couple of friends. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 maybe your psych is like me - the pay is kinda just a bonus/the box I need to tick to like... eat, pay rent, keep my internet running, all those silly little perks of capitalism 😑  If I wanted money I'd have gone into medicine 🤣

It's legit so easy to care for and about you all. You know how good it feels to help others? THATS what I'm here for. So, kinda selfish of me really 😝

Oh nice!! I mean not that your stay was cancelled, but that you have some actual free time!!

That would be a wonderful lil holiday!! And maybe a frosty lil trip to the beach? Sometimes it's better in winter, no crowds and the whole atmosphere is different!

[Captain24]

Sorry. I feel asleep @Jynx 

I guess maybe it’s not about the pay for her. I do feel like she does care. 

Im glad you like helping people. I hope it gives you some meaning. 

I think the free time will be good. When I go visit my psych the beach is there plus I’m thinking of maybe going a little further down. Maybe Kiama blow hole. I don’t know. 

Anyway I am going to work today so I’ll see you after work