I can’t cope

[Captain24]

My house is clean and I have things finished. Everything else on my list has to be done tomorrow like bath the dogs and clean the shower and shower screen oh and have a shower and wash my hair. It’s too late for the hair wash now as it won’t dry. 

Thank you so much for your help tonight @tyme 

[tyme]

Can the floors wait until tomorrow @Captain24 ? Unless you want to complete it with @Jynx . BUt I honestly think you've achieved a lot already.

Maybe your next task is to do something nice for yourself?

Also, I'm logging off now. But I'll see you soon.

[tyme]

You are amazing @Captain24 . I'm so proud of you.

[Captain24]

I’ve just had dinner @Jynx. Turns out it has mushrooms in it so it wasn’t great. 

I’ve had a day of grieving. 

How was your day and your break? 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 oooh now watch me forget that tip entirely next time I have to fold a fitted sheet! lol

Sorry to hear you've had a day of grief. I know the feeling well. What has been helpful for you to move through it? 

[Captain24]

I use to work in retail and Manchester was one of the sections I managed so I got some practice in. @Jynx 

Ive just felt sorry for myself. Lots of memories came up. Mostly good but some rough ones. I didn’t realise how much I miss my nan. It’s been an afternoon of hurt. That’s why I needed a push to complete stuff. I was beating myself up for not finishing anything. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 ugh you poor soul! I never did retail, don't think I got the temperament for it. I was a hospo kid through n through! 

Aww hun. What do you think you would say to your nan if she were around? What would she say to you? 

[Captain24]

I couldn’t do hospo. People would end up wearing their food or drink if they were rude! @Jynx 

Id just tell her that I loved her and missed her. The old nan. The person she was before dementia took over and took her away from us. 

I’ve been struggling for the last few days anyway. My ED voice is real loud. My thoughts have been real dark. I don’t think anyone has picked up on how dark. But it doesn’t matter anyway. No one would care anyway. 

[Captain24]

Sorry. Should’ve kept it to myself

[Jynx]

See I feel like people are MORE rude in retail @Captain24 cos like... people might suspect spit in their food if they're rude to waitstaff. But in retail there's that whole 'the customer is always right' thing (fun fact, the original quote was 'the customer is always right in terms of taste' and was about not judging people for buying ugly or stupid stuff, and not an invitation to treat retail workers like crap!)

I think that she would've loved to hear that. And maybe she did 💜

I care!! I am sorry things feel so ick, and low, and dark. I got glowsticks tho? 

Gonna be heading off soon - how are you feeling hun?